I couldn’t breathe: when the body speaks to us

I looked at my calendar and could barely breathe

When your body and calendar speak to you

For the last two weeks, I’ve been feeling tightness in my chest, the familiar buzz of anxiety when I’m reaching the unsustainable edges of my capacity.

Operating at this pace for too many weeks in a row, my body always gives me the signals. And instead of cutting back on things, I pushed through - an old pattern I slide into when the plate gets fuller.

This week the signals were feeling overwhelmed and shortness of breath when I’d look at my full calendar, the one with barely any white space.

It was also the edginess and strong reactions at the smallest of things (like the dog peeing in her bed for the second time in a few hours).

I felt ungrounded and incapable of taking in even one more thing…

So I had a good cry - releasing the pent up energy while my hubby just stroked my arm gently and listened.

That cry felt good, but telling the truth about how I was feeling, out loud, gave me more relief.

I then knew what I needed to do to reclaim some mental and emotional spaciousness: cancel plans.

Yes, even the long weekend away with my bestie… I couldn’t keep pushing…I needed to create space to breathe again.

I wrestled with my fear of disappointing the people I had plans with….worrying they’d feel certain ways I was trying to avoid for them.

What I’ve learned in this season of life, is that I cannot continue to disappoint myself however (and ignore my needs) in that dance.

I sent texts cancelling plans and appointments. Thankfully, their responses were all kind, empathetic and understanding. (God I’m grateful for these types of friends ).

I love how my body responds when I remember to reclaim ease, this time, by softening the exhausting expectations that like to orchestrate the “do it all” dance.

My body and my calendar were simply showing me the path back to myself, to Ease.

If you’ve been feeling any of this. I see you.

And I wish you the courage to take even the smallest step to return to your needs as the foundation this week.

When we honour our body’s signals, we begin to embody trust that we matter too, even when it feels uncomfortable.

Beyond bubble baths and spa days, this is the self-care I feel we’re truly yearning for.

If you feel midlife, your body or heart has been nudging you to explore a more easeful and rested season, reach out to explore 1:1 Rested Woman Coaching or Rest + Receive: a group online journey for women starting this Fall.