When you’re waiting to live…
What my cross-country move is showing me
My brain works in a sneaky way. I’ve noticed a hidden thought recently, quietly directing the show around here. It goes something like this: “I’ll enjoy my summer after the move.”
At first, you might think: That’s fair…
Selling a house, packing up and moving across the country is a stressful undertaking after all. There’s a lot to “get done” so let’s just push through this.
But the thing is, somehow my whole mental and physical posture shifts to anticipate and brace for the stress, without making room for much else.
My little drill sergeant part, yelling “We don’t have time for fun!! We got sooo much to get done. You get to relax when you arrive on the East Coast - not a moment sooner!”
Stress narrows our focus, and it also lies to us. It secretly locks us out of joy and ease amidst the stressful days and chapters. It tells us to delay our pleasure, relaxation, our rest, for when everything is done.
The reality is I’ve lived in this beautiful town for 5 years: I want to breathe in its beauty in the next 3 weeks! Its European charm, the trail walks, stolen moments by the Grand River, the coffee and scones with good friends. I want to intentionally carve out room for pleasure, and presence to the beauty that is still here in Fergus for me to enjoy. I don’t want to skip over it, or miss it for my To Do list.
It doesn’t have to be just this narrow focus on the packing and timelines.
I’m gently reminding myself, every day, that today I get to infuse, even ALLOW, the ease and fun, in the middle of it all.
Yesterday it looked like choosing to sit in my backyard under the sun for 15 minutes between tasks. Just me, my breath, the birds chirping and the bees buzzing around fragrant blooms.
And then there’s the stressful house inspection, the one thing upon this whole move hinges! It’s been stressing me out. So I decided to book myself a massage for when it was scheduled, and then go out for coffee with a friend.
Because I get to invite ease and joy amidst the stress. I’m choosing to soften where I’d otherwise be bracing.
A few self-reflection Qs for you:
-How do I unknowingly “gatekeep” my joy in times of stress?
-What would look different if I allowed Ease to come along for the ride today? (Notice how this thought feels in your body)
-Where can I micro-dose simple pleasures today/this week?
Because joy doesn't have to wait for "after"—we get to choose small, deliberate moments of ease right now!
Yours in remembering to make room for the juicy Joy too
Charmaine xx